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Letters To DOMAI


It was the Fall of 2000.  The dot com bubble had burst, and high tech companies were having massive layoffs.  I got laid off that year along with thousands of other high tech professionals.

Grimly determined to find a new job, I converted an unused upstairs bedroom into an office, moved in a computer and phone, and started aggressively searching for new employment.  To get a jump on east coast time zones, I would start working around 6:00 AM local time and often worked into the early evening.  The upstairs bedroom was shaded and cool and there was a large window facing the street when I needed to rest my eyes.

Several months, uncountable phone calls and hundreds of applications later, I still didn't have a job.  Unemployment insurance was barely covering my operational expenses.  The debt I had accrued during the boom, which was not an issue with a six figure salary, was now a millstone around my neck.  I was in too big of a house for my needs, which I could not sell in the current market.  Things looked really grim.

Working at dawn one morning, applying for yet another position, I was feeling discouraged and depressed.  A flash of light out of the corner of my eye caused me to look out the window.  The house across the narrow street had large bay windows in the upper stories, and the family that lived there had never bothered to put in curtains or blinds.  The large bathroom in the upper story had a huge vanity mirror on one wall, surrounded by globe lights, clearly visible from the street.  The rest of the house was dark.  It had been the bathroom lights coming on that had attracted my attention.

A blond girl in her early twenties was drying her hair in front of the mirror, her only garment a towel wrapped around her hips.  She was tall and slender with small high breasts.  My first thought was that I should not be watching, but surely she would know that she was in full view of anyone passing by.  As she started to brush her hair my misgivings evaporated and I found myself concentrating on every aspect of this vision.  The house was to the east and framed by a beautiful sunrise.  The girl's motions were slow and methodical.  Cover letter forgotten, coffee growing cold, I watched her finish her hair, apply makeup, look at herself critically in the mirror, and leave the room.  The light snapped off.

I sat there for a long moment staring at nothing.  For a moment I had forgotten what I had been depressed about.  The world eventually came back, but I found that I could tackle the job search with renewed vigor.  I had witnessed a genuinely beautiful moment, and it had renewed my energy and determination.

I saw the blond twice again in the next few weeks.  Then one morning the light came on and it was the younger brunette sister standing nude in front of the mirror.  She was shorter, had larger breasts and a round bottom.  (Similar to Juliet in your collection.)  She did her hair and makeup in quick, abrupt motions which made her parts jiggle in appealing ways.  Afterward, the day seemed brighter and I got a lot of work done.

I found out later that the family was casually naturist -- not to the extent of belonging to organizations, just an ambivalence towards wearing clothes when it wasn't required.

I had attended nude beaches and hot tub parties in college.  Casual non-erotic nudity was not unknown to me.  I can honestly say that what I felt during these moments wasn't really desire, but rather a deep appreciation of their unconscious beauty and uncaring nudity.

These "domai moments" were not a regular occurrence.  I didn't specifically watch for them, and often I was so completely engrossed in phone interviews, filling out forms, and the various other things one has to do to find a job, that I probably missed opportunities.  But every once in awhile, I'd look over, and there would be the brunette nude or the blond in a towel, and it would be a brighter day.

Frankly I had a little trouble with the morality of this voyeurism.  I'd been told by the mom that the girls often went nude around the house, but that didn't necessarily mean they wanted prying eyes watching them.  My mind was put at ease one afternoon when I looked out to rest my eyes and saw the brunette digging up weeds in the front yard in tiny shorts and a cropped t-shirt.  While she was working, her top gradually migrated upwards until her breasts were exposed.  Unknowing or uncaring, she continued to work until eventually she stood up, stretched, with the crop top up by her collar bones and her beautiful tanned breasts fully exposed, then absent-mindedly adjusted her shirt as she collected her tools.  Clearly she was comfortable with her body and didn't care who saw her.

Two more years passed without a job and I was at the end of my rope.  Unemployment had run out months ago, I had cashed in my meager retirement to pay bills, and I had nothing left.  Some bills had gone to collection and I was in danger of losing my house.  On this particular day, I had set aside the entire day to negotiate with my creditors, trying to buy more time, and it had not gone well.  I was less than 30 days from losing everything and still had no prospects.  It was the worst day of my life.  I had never in my life been so depressed.  I doubted my ability to find work, and wondered if I'd ever be employed again.  My mind in a very dark place, I put my head in my hands for a long while.  When I raised my head, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.

It was early evening and the last of the sunset made red and gold highlights on the house across the street.  The upstairs light was on, and the gold of the mirror lights perfectly blended with the light from the sunset.  The blond was not wearing her usual towel.  I had never seen her totally nude before.  Her hips were narrower than her sister's, and she had a smaller, more muscular butt.  Her legs were slim and muscular, like a long distance runner.  She had styled her hair and was finishing her makeup.  She then applied something (glitter?  perfume?) to her shoulders and cleavage, and then stepped back to admire herself, still nude, from several angles. She left the room for a short time, and reappeared in a tiny black cocktail dress.  After admiring herself again, she left and shut off the light.

Shortly thereafter, a young man escorted her from the house, opened the car door, and carefully handed her in.

I sat there for a long time, thinking.  Life goes on, people continue to live, love, and grow old together.  Life throws us challenges, but we strive and move on.  No matter what happened, I wasn't going to starve to death, and any world which contained such beauty and love of life as I had just witnessed, deserved the best effort I could make.  Feeling reaffirmed, I got back to work.

As it turns out, that was the last time I saw either girl nude, as I landed a job the next week and was no longer home at the right time for these "moments".  No matter.  The blonde's preparations that day appear to have paid off, as her young man married her shortly after and they are raising a family now.  The younger sister got married a short time later and is now raising a family of her own.  I still occasionally see the girls, now lovely young mothers, when they visit their parents.  But I never saw them unclothed again, and although I eventually got my finances in order and built up a successful career, the world seems a tiny bit duller, especially in the mornings.

I'm not really close with the family.  I've had dinner with them a couple times, and sometimes pass the time with them outside.  The girls will never know how they saved me from deep depression and gave me the strength to get through a most challenging time.  They were my muses during a dark time, and for that I will always be grateful.

- Jan

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